Pet related funnies

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Pet related funnies

Postby niki » Thu Mar 06, 2008 10:08 am

I have 6 cats, and was buying a large box of Purina cat biscuits at Asda and was in line to check out.
The woman behind me asked if I had a cat? Duh?

On impulse, I told her no, I was starting The Purina Diet again. Although I probably shouldn't, because
I'd ended up in the hospital the last time. But I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive
care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.


I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story,
particularly a tall guy who was standing behind her.)


Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the cat food poisoned me?

I told her no, I'd been sitting in the street licking my a**e and a car hit me.
Niki Toogood and Scrumpy
If you ever thought your dog can't count, try putting 3 dog biscuits in your pocket and only giving him 2!!!

http://www.puddyprints.com
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Re: Pet related funnies

Postby Mojo » Thu Mar 06, 2008 2:01 pm

Fantastic [laugh]
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Re: Pet related funnies

Postby Joe » Thu Mar 06, 2008 4:19 pm

Brilliant :lol:
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Re: Pet related funnies

Postby Gunther » Thu Mar 06, 2008 8:36 pm

Excellent! [laugh]
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He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog.
You are his life, his love, his leader.
He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart.
You owe him to be worthy of such devotion.
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Re: Pet related funnies

Postby Joe » Thu Mar 27, 2008 3:05 pm

My cocker spaniel was absolutely traumatised last night, I decided to wash his bed. Oh dear what a drama that was. As i was trying to put his bed into the washing machine he was pulling it back out. At one point I wondered whether he was going to get in as well. I know he won't pick up a wash gel anymore, he went and brought that out, but as soon as they get wet they start melting. Eventually I got the door shut, so he sat infront of the washer and watched his bed going round and round, crying, with the occasional heart wrenching howl, until it came out. Then got even more upset when I put it in the tumble-drier.
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Re: Pet related funnies

Postby niki » Thu Mar 27, 2008 3:13 pm

[laugh] [laugh] [laugh] [laugh]

How cruel of you Joe!!!!!!

Sounds a bit like our two when you mention a bath [blink] [ohmy]
Niki Toogood and Scrumpy
If you ever thought your dog can't count, try putting 3 dog biscuits in your pocket and only giving him 2!!!

http://www.puddyprints.com
niki
 
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Location: Bracknell, Berkshire

Re: Pet related funnies

Postby Joe » Thu Mar 27, 2008 3:18 pm

I cheat when I have to give them a bath. Fill the bath up first then throw the ball in, send the dog then shut the door at the back of you. Perfect, dog in bath.
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Re: Pet related funnies

Postby niki » Thu Mar 27, 2008 8:50 pm

Hmmmmm that could work with Scrumpy but Guinness has 8 years of wisdom and a problem solving brain to help him [huh]
Niki Toogood and Scrumpy
If you ever thought your dog can't count, try putting 3 dog biscuits in your pocket and only giving him 2!!!

http://www.puddyprints.com
niki
 
Posts: 948
Joined: Sat Feb 09, 2008 5:48 pm
Location: Bracknell, Berkshire

Re: Pet related funnies

Postby Mojo » Thu Mar 27, 2008 9:06 pm

I hope your not upsetting Paddy [mad]

Like dog like son is it Joe? God help me when little one's bear goes in the wash - not braved it yet, ah well it's been 2 yrs [laugh]
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Re: Pet related funnies

Postby Joe » Thu Mar 27, 2008 10:08 pm

It wasn't Paddy's bed, it was Max's. I still don't think he's forgiven me. [mad] [mad] [mad]
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